21 March, 2011

Message to Me #1

If you could go back in time and tell yourself, maybe even warn yourself, would you?
Here is what I’d say if I had the chance…

Message #1
To: Sean, 12
From: Sean, 21

Sean, don’t worry so much. God will provide.
I know it seems like things aren’t going to get better. You’re dad has been laid off for quite a while. Your sister and best friend is sick. And you just want to help. But you’re not sure how to.
It was only a year ago you came to know Christ. And it is sometimes a struggle. Don’t be afraid to ask God ‘why’. He knows that you want to. You can’t hide anything from him. There is absolutely nothing he can’t handle. Let go of your worry and give it to him.
There are so many things being thrown at you all at once right now. It’ll be a while before things get better. But you are strong. You’ll get through this. Even if you don’t feel strong, God is there to help you.
Because it’s during these trials, that shape you as a person and your faith in Christ.
Get angry if need be. Yell if you want to. Cry if you feel like it. I know you want to. I know it hurts. You want to help, but there’s nothing you can do.
This is easier said than done, but, let go and let God.
Once you do, things will make sense again. God will put everything into perspective once you let him.
After a while, you won’t try to be this supergirl. Trying to fix everything yourself. You’re still a girl. Enjoy being a girl. Just being silly and living life to the fullest. Don’t try and take care of everyone. You’re still a child. Let someone take care of you.
This valley won’t last forever. There is a hill in your future.
Enjoy this age, you’re only 12 once.
Don’t try so hard.
And most of all, just have fun being who God created you to be.
~Sean, 21

03 March, 2011

Sink or Swim

I’m in the process of finishing my novel, putting the finishing touches on it. Making sure to polish it up nicely just so I can query it. This will be my first time querying for this particular novel and the first time I ever queried an agent. My nerves are all frazzled. Mainly because I know that this novel of mine is what they are looking for.

I know I have to start off small and work my way up to the bigger projects I’m so very excited about. But I so much would love to write those epic novels that I have such a passion for.

Until then, I am trying to be patient. Patience isn’t easy for me. I’ve had to put so many other projects on the back burner due to historical inaccuracy. For someone who prides themselves in their research, I want to do it right! And if that means I have to let my other ideas wait and stew inside me until it’s time, then I’m okay with that. I want the best for those novels. I want the best for all my work. Even my smaller projects deserve the best from me.

When I do query my novel out, that’s when my fear will begin. I’m not afraid of being rejected. I’m afraid of being accepted. Because once I’m accepted there is a chance I could fall completely on my butt. It’s either sink or swim and I so much want to keep swimming.